Sorry!

OKay so I had a huge break down on Sunday night, which led to a bad Monday...but I had a great Monday night. I am havin trouble doing The Lov Dare. But I am trying my best. I fall in love with my husband more and more as I do this dare. I don't know if that will suck more or not. I am keeping my faith strong. I know the Lord can do anything. Well I will be starting Day 10 tomorrow. I hope all goes well.

Day 6

So what can I say, Im alittle confused about today's dare.  But I have to write a list for myself. where I can improve.....I think. Well my husband called me back yesterday, I got the 3 things that I do wrong/ annoy him.  1. he doesn;t think I care about him.  2. He doesn't like the head games I play. 3. He doesn't think I can forgive him.  Yes I do all these things.  I have been trying to forgive him. I am working on that one. I have always been hurt in realitionships so its harder for me to open up to someone. So I come off cold, and mean. I need to become better at that.  I push people away so I don't apprear to be hurt. I do play head games cause I think its the only way I can really see if  he really loves me or not. I need to study my scriptures more, I need to make time for that. I need to read  more up lifing books. I want to be a better Mother. Cause really that is one of the most importain things. When I was reading my scriptures today  I had the feeling to pray. I did. I have faith that I am on the right path, I know The Lord can do anything I just have to have Faith.  I need to be a better friend to my husband, A better mother. I need to be more patient with my husband. I can't expect more from my husband then I do myself.  I love him and I just want him back.

The Love Dare

have you ever heard of it? Well I got it from the movie Fireproof. Since my husband wants a divorce and I don't, I thought I would  try it. So far Im on day 5 and getting shot down everyday! 35 more days to go. Today's dare is to get my husband to tell me 3 things that annoy him that I do. Since we are not living under the same roof its harder to get him to talk to me. I called him, and im scared to death, to talk to him. All I do is get rejected and im scared that this is going to blow up in my face.  But I have faith that the Lord will provied a way for me and my husband to be happy together.  I have Faith that the Lord will sofen his heart, that he will have a desire to be around me. I am going to try and write about "my love dare" for the day. I'mstill waiting for Con to call me back. I hope he does. I hope we can work this out. That I can let go of my jelousey towards his friends. That I can be the wife and friend to him that he deserves.